Really love this post ! It’s was so relatable especially being Dominican myself. I’ve been through similar things. Great post !! 🙂
“Yo, you watch Love & Hip Hop: Miami?” read a text from an old friend. In the two seconds it took me to read the message, I thought to myself, if this fool tries to tell me that I remind him of Amara La Negra, he’s getting blocked. And he did, in fact proceed to tell me that I reminded him of her and I did, in fact proceed to tell him that he was getting blocked. Let’s just say this, Amara is gorgeous, a beautiful chocolate drop with an amazing body who is really doing big things. However, I am not her. The only reason I get the comparison is because I’m a shade of chocolate and I wear my natural hair out like so. That was not the first time I’d gotten that comparison. I used to work at a restaurant where one of my co-workers would call…
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Hey all 👋🏾 I will like to dedicate this post to all of you. I started this blog in January and I didn’t think that I would get all of this support and love. I started this blog for myself at first and I am glad I have been able to reach so many people! Grateful for all the opportunities and growth! 💕 thank you all!
“Amethyst is a stone of spiritual protection and purification, cleansing one’s energy field of negative influences and attachments, and creating a resonant shield of spiritual Light around the body. It acts as a barrier against lower energies, psychic attack, geopathic stress and unhealthy environments.”
By: Melissa Javier
IG: bettering_you2 + mellyyy.melll
Mental illness is seen as a stigma in the black community. Most of black people suffers in silence because they are ashamed of what others would think of them. We shouldn’t keep quiet about mental illness. We shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed to have a mental illness. African Americans are 20% more likely to suffer from a mental illness then the general population. Adult African Americans who are living below poverty are three times more likely to report having a serious mental anguish than those living above poverty.
Black people are more likely to have feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness than adult whites. The majority have unidentified mental illnesses. Most believe that they are going through fazes and that whatever they are going through will pass. There is a low use of mental health services amongst black people. Recently this has been normalized by our music culture. Things like depression and social anxiety is very common amongst our black youths. Artist like Lil Uzi Vert and Kanye West speak about some mental illness in their songs. They have become major influencers for our youth.
Black teens are given pressure from their families in terms of graduating high school or completing a degree. We are expected to be failures by some. We are all very pressured by society to be the best in all we do. We are glorified because of our athleticism and our culture yet the struggles we had to endure to get to we are in life are rarely spoken about.
There is a low use of mental health services amongst black people. Adults and youth should be educated on the resources that are available to them in their areas. This can be because of many things. One can be that we would want to be able to identify ourselves with our therapist. There isn’t enough therapist of color. As humans in general we tend to gravitate ourselves towards people who are similar to us. I believe it’s very important that the black community we advocate for the use of mental health services. Adults and youth should be educated on the resources that are available to them in their areas. A great resource out there is therapyforblackgirls.com. You can find black women therapist in your area. There are also podcasts on the website that talk about topics that go on in the black community.
Nowadays a drake lyric is always referenced back to us when we express any type of emotion. A lot of people see expressing yourself as a weakness. Judgement from others prevents us from looking for help or talking about what maybe bothering us. Having a mental illness can be considered to be taboo in social circles. Most of us would even consider the topic of mental health/illness inappropriate for our families; which can be unfortunate. Our families and friends should be people that we go to during times of despair. Openness and communication is definitely something that can help improve the way mental health/illness is viewed in the black community.
April 18th, 2018
In light of all the outrage concerning R Kelly and his numerous molestation allegations, I’d like to say that the reason this didn’t get nearly as much attention as it should is because black girls are stripped of their innocence before they have an understanding of what it is. Growing up, we were told at the ages of 10 and 11 to “cover up” and “stop being grown” if our clothes fit a certain way. No one is nearly as upset at R Kelly as they would be about a grown man preying on little white girls. Why? Because young black girls are hypersexualized and portrayed as more mature than their age simply based on their body.
I can remember as a young girl I was always self-conscious about my clothesbecause I knew that I would be called “fast” or “grown” because of my chest and the curve of my hips. I didn’t understand why, but now it all makes sense. Instead of worrying about cartoons and playing with friends, I was often plagued with the need to wear bigger clothes in order to hide my body. This is not how a childhood should be. There are countless other black girls out there who can relate to my sentiments, and it shouldn’t be that way. We should keep the same energy in protecting and nurturing our young black girls as we do with Becky and Sarah. This means that we need to stop covering up for the men in our lives, households, and communities that go out of their way to rob black girls of their innocence. R Kelly is a prime example.
R Kelly is no doubt a great artist, and many of our parents love him. However, this does not exclude him from being held accountable for his actions. He is a great example of how the black community covers up for the men who manipulate and ruin the lives of black girls. The responses I’ve been hearing about R Kelly’s most recent allegations are alarming. I can’t comprehend how things like “she was too fast anyway” can leave the mouth of someone with a black mother, sister, cousin, etc. Regardless of how quickly a girl’s body “blooms,” she should never be subject to a man taking advantage of her. This is not about R Kelly or any other public figure known for molestation, but it simply reinforces the point that black girls are often neglected.
Hypersexualization of us is evident in childhood but it continues into adolescence and even early adulthood. I still feel uncomfortable being gawked at by older men when I’m in public. Like most issues within the black community, hypersexualization of the black woman can be traced back to slavery in which the black woman was used and abused for her body. The black woman was depicted as the promiscuous Jezebel, as opposed to the perfect purity of the white woman. Slaveowners forced themselves onto black girls and women and gave them babies, but never valued them anything more than a quick satisfaction. It would take forever to dissect all the information and draw conclusions from slavery, but you get the picture.
Forcing black girls to grow up too fast is hindering them from just being kids. Men need to take the responsibility to evaluate themselves for pedophilic thoughts and behavior. This should not be acceptable in our community, or anywhere for that matter. Parents need to stop sexualizing their children at such early ages when they have no control over how their bodies develop. As a community, we need to do better at protecting our black girls and making them feel loved, not neglected.
Instagram and Twitter: @melaninxro